Advice to a friend

Advice to a friend who is married with children. I realise that I have made some generalisations here. Please don't take offence if your circumstances are different. Everybody has their own circumstances.

On the subject of getting a Saturday job.

Don't worry about your mortgage. That is your husband's job. And although its nice to get it down, all you really need to do is pay your set amount each month.

It's more important that you do your job well, which is being a Mum and being the domestic logistics manager. If you try to take on too much, you will not be able to do everything properly. You'll get stressed, tired and grumpy, and then you'll feel guilty about being a bad Mum.

It's far better to do your job properly, run a happy family and have a happy home for your husband to come home to.

Men also have an inbuilt need to provide for their family. If you go and get a Saturday job, they may feel that you don't think they are doing a good enough job providing. It is very important to let each person in a marriage do their job properly, and be appreciated for doing it. You need to show him that you trust that he will provide for you, and that you appreciate him for doing it. He needs to show you that he appreciates all the work that you do for your family.
 

Sometimes this is hard when one partner is not working, because they have no dollar sign next to their name. It is easy to underestimate someone's worth when they don't have a pay check.
However, Mums who stay at home are really important.  They do a great deal of work, day and night and spend a lot of time investing in their children. 

You can also look at this from the flip side, which is, if you had a job, you would have to pay for childcare, you would find it a lot harder to have the food ready and keep the washing moving, and it would be harder to find time to give your children the attention they need.

Being a Mum is a really important job. If your circumstances allow for you to do so, then it is very worthwhile staying home with your kids, especially in the years before they go to school.
Remember that part of loving each other, is loving what each of you has to offer. You are a really gifted mother. Relish it.